Warsaw Airport, Poland — October 7th, 2026
While I’m waiting for my flight to my next adventure, I thought: Why not write my first newsletter while I have some time? As a good German, I obviously arrived early at the airport, so I have plenty of time today. No Brazilian roots coming out lol.

Anyway, let’s slowly jump into today’s topic:

Why hesitation will destroy a lot of opportunities when dating, meeting women while traveling abroad, or simply trying to improve your dating life wherever you live.

While I was in Warsaw, I was trying to hit my 10K steps every day, so I usually went for a walk around the city center. Nowadays, I’m more at a stage where if I see a beautiful girl on the street who is my type, I’ll approach her. I don’t really do dedicated long day-game sessions anymore like I used to in the past walking around the streets for hours trying to approach as many girls as possible.

I have a lot going on business-wise, so my time is limited. I prefer to integrate meeting women naturally into my everyday life instead of putting aside hours only for approaching.

Obviously, if you’re a beginner, that’s different. You should probably get your reps in with dedicated sessions because you need enough repetition to learn how to approach, hold conversations and become comfortable talking to women. But back to the story.

I was walking my usual route through Warsaw when I reached a crosswalk. I crossed the first part of the road and stopped on the little island in the middle because the light was about to turn red. On the other side, I saw this super cute girl walking toward the crossing. She noticed the light changing and suddenly started running to make it across.

As she got closer, I immediately realized: She was very much my type. Small. Cute face. Blue eyes. Nice black outfit. And let’s just say the proportions were in the right places haha. She came running past me in the middle of the crossing and I immediately shouted, with a smirky smile:

“Stop.” She actually stopped. She looked at me like: “What?”

And I just said the first thing that came into my mind which is usually the best thing to do: “I just thought you were cute, so I had to stop you.” She laughed, looked surprised and smiled. Meanwhile, the light had turned red and the cars started passing, so she basically had no other option than to stand there next to me anyway. I immediately teased her:

“Are you always in that much of a hurry?” She laughed and explained that she had to be somewhere. Then she started asking me questions. That’s always a good sign because now she’s also investing in the conversation. The important thing here is not to answer every question completely logically. Keep some playfulness. At one point she asked what brought me out that early evening. I said:

“Nothing. Just trying to stay out of trouble.” She asked: “Are you trouble?” I said: “Maybe.” Then I threw the ball back to her: “You’re the one running dangerously across the street.” That’s exactly the kind of conversation you want. Not overly logical. Fun. Playful. Not taking yourself or her too seriously. That creates connection very quickly. At the end, we exchanged numbers. Not Instagram. There’s a specific reason for that, which I’ll explain in another Brief. And we met again the next day when I invited her to join me on my evening walk.

There are two lessons from this story.

The first one is about having a playful, non-logical conversation that creates attraction and connection quickly with someone you literally just met. But today I want to focus more on the second lesson: Hesitation destroys opportunities.

If I hadn’t immediately stopped her while she was running across the street, she would have just kept going. That moment would have been gone. I probably would never have spoken to her. And none of what happened afterward would have happened either. From coaching a lot of guys over the past few years, I know exactly what usually happens in situations like this.

They overthink. “She’s in a hurry.” “I shouldn’t bother her.” “The timing is weird.” “Maybe I’ll see her again.” And while they’re thinking… the moment is gone. Then they spend the rest of the evening thinking about how they should have approached her. Sometimes they think about it for days. They regret it. They beat themselves up. Then they promise themselves:

“Next time I’ll do it.” But when the next opportunity comes, they freeze again. And suddenly they’re stuck in this cycle of hesitation and overthinking. So you might be asking: Julian, how do I actually break that cycle?

It’s easier than you think. You’ve probably heard about the 3-second rule: You see a woman you want to approach and you move within three seconds before your brain starts creating excuses. That’s already a useful framework. But I think you can go one level deeper. Think about that feeling you get when you see a woman you really want to approach. That little hit of tension. That nervousness. That moment where your body suddenly goes:

“Oh shit.” You can call it approach anxiety. Your body is basically trying to protect you from perceived danger. Evolutionarily, that makes sense. But in reality? It’s just a beautiful woman. She isn’t going to hurt you. And here’s something important: Even when you become very experienced, that feeling doesn’t completely disappear. I still feel it all the time. The difference is that you learn how to interpret it differently.

Instead of treating that feeling as a signal to hesitate... treat it as a signal to act. The moment you feel it, that becomes your trigger: Approach now. Even if the situation feels awkward. Even if she looks busy. Even if she’s walking fast. Even if like in my case she’s literally running across the street. Obviously, use common sense and be respectful. But stop automatically creating reasons why you can’t approach. If you repeat this enough times, something interesting happens.

Your brain starts learning: Nothing terrible happens. Maybe she stops and talks to you. Maybe she smiles. Maybe you exchange numbers. Maybe she simply keeps walking. And that’s fine too. But what you won’t do anymore is go home and spend the next two days thinking:

“Why didn’t I just talk to her?” That’s the real lesson. When you feel that little nervous feeling around a woman you want to meet, don’t interpret it as: “Danger. Don’t do it.” Interpret it as: “This is my signal. Take action now.” That’s how you start beating hesitation. And the good thing? A lot of the time, she actually will stop. She will talk to you. And she’ll appreciate the fact that you had the confidence to approach her in real life.

Because let’s be real: Most guys nowadays don’t approach women in public anymore. Most of her attention probably comes through Instagram DMs, dating apps or guys orbiting around her hoping something happens. If you know how to approach naturally, confidently and respectfully in real life, you immediately separate yourself from a lot of other men.

That doesn’t mean every approach will work. It means you actually give yourself the opportunity. And sometimes... you only have three seconds.

P.S. Reply to this email and tell me about the last situation where you hesitated or a time when you successfully pushed through it and approached anyway.

I read every reply.

Best,
Julian